Michael Jackson, Mark Sanford and the Human Condition
I've been thinking a lot about the light side and the dark side of the human condition this week. A lot of this has been driven by the news and some of it has been driven by some reading I'm doing. For so many leaders, the passion and energy that drives them to the top of their fields has a dark side in the form of an ego that is looking for additional validation in all of the wrong places.
Until the death of Michael Jackson yesterday, the story of the week was South Carolina governor Mark Sanford's acknowledgement of a secret trip to Argentina to rendezvous with his girlfriend. The Sanford story has some unusual elements with its hiking on the Appalachian Trail cover story, his unscripted press conference to admit his adulterous affair and his use of state funds to travel to Argentina. Still, it seems like we have a politician cheating on his wife story about once or twice a month lately. In fact, on Hardball last night, Chris Matthews' Big Number was 23. That's the number of prominent political sex scandals (e.g. Elliott Spitzer, John Ensign, John Edwards to name a few) that have come to light since the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal in 1998.
It makes one wonder, what's with these guys? One of the standard answers I hear to this question is that their egos are out of control and they feel entitled to whatever they want. Maybe so, but I think it could be something else. Instead, it could be what Eckhart Tolle describes in his book, A New Earth:
"Whatever behavior the ego manifests, the hidden motivating force is always the same: the need to stand out, be special, be in control; the need for power, for attention, for more... The ego always wants something from other people or situations. There is always a hidden agenda, always a sense of 'not enough yet,' of insufficiency and lack that needs to be filled. It uses people and situations to get what it wants, and even when it succeeds, it is never satisfied for long."
In other words, as Tolle goes to on to write, it's about fear - the fear of not being enough. That would seem to explain a lot of inexplicable behavior wouldn't it?
Which, sadly, brings us to Michael Jackson. As Joel Achenbach blogged for the Washington Post, "Michael Jackson may not have been perfect, but he was part of the soundtrack of our lives the last 40 years. At his best, he was the best." There has already been so much written in the past day about the deep contradictions in Jackson's life. If you just take a look at him as a 10 year old prodigy fronting the Jackson 5 or a phenomenon dancing in the video for "Beat It," I don't know how anyone could conclude other than he was a person with tremendous gifts that, for a time, made the absolute most of them. Of course, we also observed in Jackson a life in which "the insufficiency and lack that needs to be filled," led to a series of choices which were deeply damaging to himself and others. One of the more astute comments I read this morning came from Michael Levine, a publicist who worked for Jackson in the 1990s:
"I must confess I am not surprised by today's tragic news. Michael has been on an impossibly difficult and often self-destructive journey for years. His talent was unquestionable but so too was his discomfort with the norms of the world. A human simply cannot withstand this level of prolonged stress."
So, by now, you may be asking yourself, "What does all of this have to do with leadership? Isn't this supposed to be a leadership blog?" Yes, it is and here's what I think the connection is. To lead others, you first have to take care of yourself. A big part of that, I think, is acknowledging to yourself that you're already enough. The opportunity that any of us have is to take whatever talents we've been given or developed and use them to the fullest. And, then, to believe that that is enough.
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ABOUT THIS BLOG
Executive coach Scott Eblin’s goal is to help you succeed at the next level of leadership. Throughout the week, he’ll offer his take on the leadership lessons in the news and his advice on your most pressing leadership questions. A former government executive, Scott is a graduate of Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government and is the author of The Next Level: What Insiders Know About Executive Success.
Great insight by Mr. Eblin. Acceptance removes the ego's quest for more. I accept what I have been given to work with in life and make the best me that is possible. It is enough for whatever I was put on earth to accomplish.
anthony weishar Posted Monday, June 29, 2009 7:35 AMIsn't it amazing that in this country a tragedy or misfortune of another, e.g. Michael Jackson, is somehow intertwined or compared with the indiscretions of someone who is "supposed" to be a leader, e.g. Clinton, Edwards, Spitzer and now Stanford. Amazing! Michael Jackson in spite of his troubled life inspired and created unity the world over. Can you say that for the aforementioned? I think not. I don't usually comment on issues but enough is enough. FINALLY! Let him rest in peace. PLEASE!!!
A E Kohn Posted Monday, June 29, 2009 8:55 AMAn underlying theme to what Tolle wrote is the issue of being discontent. When I person is discontent, he/she will manifest the aforementioned behaviors. When a person is content with their life, family, work, etc. There is no need to strive for things to validate a weak ego. Also, contentment is not complacency. A person can be content and still strive to do great things in all areas of their life.
John Doe Posted Monday, June 29, 2009 9:50 AMThe essence of leadership is to serve, and not serve oneself, but to serve others. Too many of todays so-called leaders believe their positions come with entitlements that they themselves define. The best example of leadership we have in the last two centuries is Jesus Christ. This example stands irrespective of whether one calls oneself a "Christian" or not.
Dragon Schlage Posted Monday, June 29, 2009 10:45 AMIn a land of Justice and Law, one would think that being found not guilty was sufficient to remove a stigma, but not so when the media persecutes and prosecutes you. The public remembers the media, not the verdict, and a man is ruined for the rest of his talented life. Even in death, he is not allowed to escape the travesty of American justice - or lack of it. It appears that Sanford, like the rest of the politic leaders mentioned, is just another dork that can't keep it in his pants. To mention Jackson in the same article is an injustice to a man that had no childhood and tried to observe what childhood was like. Anyone can tell a story, not everyone lives one.
Thomas O'Hara Posted Monday, June 29, 2009 11:10 AMThank you for the blog entry. It reminds me that what’s new is, invariably, old. Your piece could have been written by Aristotle while elucidating hamartia: the fatal character flaw that in its particulars is unique to each individual, yet in its general nature is practically universal. Too often, our society looks at fallen heroes and concludes that they are stupid or grotesque without looking deeper. The purpose of a Greek tragedy is not to generate moral superiority; it is to bring the watcher to a greater degree of humility. I appreciate that your posting tends towards the latter.
Tom Johnson Posted Monday, June 29, 2009 12:18 PMWe're being fed more and more dribble like Mr Eblin's article. If we've had enough of anything it's liberal "feel good" dribble. Not being satisfied with one's place in life and striving for better things is far from being good enough. The "ego" problem these "leders" are facinf has nothing to do with being good enough to lead, but has everything to do with their lack of a moral compass. If they don't know the difference between what's right and wrong, how can we as citizens expect them to pass laws that are for the people rather than their own twisted agendas? CAP and Trade is a perfect example. Good for the Government coffers, bad for the people. Michael gave the people what they wanted-and he profited greatly. If the Government would take the same tact, they wouldn't have to look for ways to hide their tax increases.
Allan Posted Tuesday, June 30, 2009 4:36 AMMichael Jackson is completely one of the better performers in history. I still can not believe he is gone.
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