How to Handle It When You're the Smartest Kid in the Class
The range of reactions to President Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize has been really interesting to observe. Depending on which person or group you've been watching or listening to, you've had the opportunity to witness a full spectrum of emotional reactions from happiness to anger, from satisfaction to surprise. One that I think is out there but perhaps hasn't been commented on so much is resentment. There are those who resent the award because they say Obama hasn't proven himself yet or that others are more deserving. (Obama himself essentially said as much in his remarks just a few hours after the Peace Prize announcement.)
I think there's another reason that a lot of people resent the Prize going to Obama and it's one that has a lot of parallels in countless organizations around the world. You've probably seen it yourself or have perhaps even been the subject of it. I'm talking about what I call the "smartest kid in the class" syndrome. Whatever you think about Obama, there's not much point in debating that he is one highly intelligent guy and has had a lot of success at a very early age. He's probably the most extreme example I could come up with of the "smartest kid in the class."
While we may not be around Nobel Prize winners on a regular basis, most of us have had some experience on one side or the other (or both) of this phenomenon.
With this in mind, I came up with some rules of the road for how "the smartest kids" should handle themselves when working with others who might feel intimidated and threatened by their success:
Take Your Foot Off the Gas - "Smart kids" typically see the answer before everyone else which allows them to go faster than everyone else. If you're a smart kid, it's important to take your foot off the gas to allow everyone to catch up and understand the things that are patently obvious to you. They're not to everyone else. If you push through on your vision without others feeling comfortable about it, they'll resent it and probably try to sabotage you.
Put Them at Ease - So, if the people around you are uncomfortable, it's in your and everyone else's interest to put them at ease. One of the best ways to do that is to...
Ask What They Think - When the answer is obvious, it's difficult for smart kids to not just give it. Pretty soon, everyone else starts to get annoyed. (Remember how you felt about the kid that always had his hand up as soon as the teacher asked a question? The same dynamic applies in groups of adults.) One of the best ways to avoid blurting out the answer is to get into the habit of first asking others what they think of the situation. Of course, when they share their views, it helps if you actually...
Listen - And by listening, I don't just mean affirmative nods of the head and "uh-hmm's" while you're waiting to give your answer. I mean listening for nuance and the information you'll need to ask a second round of questions that will help deepen your understanding of their perceptions, goals, motivations, definition of success, etc.
Frame Your Solutions as Questions - After you've listened deeply, you should have a better understanding of how to frame your solutions. This is the part where you'll want to avoid saying, "OK, I hear you and here's what I think we should do." If you're working with someone who likely feels threatened by your talent and intelligence, try framing your solution as a question. It should sound something like, "I think I understand where you're coming from. What if we tried (insert your solution here)?" This approach gives the other party a greater opportunity to participate in the solution.
Share the Credit - And when it all works out great make sure you spread the credit around. However,
Pay Attention to The Balance - You want to make sure that you're also making requests of others and not just giving and giving and giving. People who feel threatened are usually very sensitive to the balance of power. While giving them the opportunity to participate and asking after their opinion are great strategies for taking the focus off of you and building relationships, you don't want to overdo it. Sometimes you just have to make the ask, give the answer or push something through. The trick is finding the right ratio.
OK, I'd love to hear what you think. Anyone out there ever been labeled the smartest kid in the class? (I'm thinking there are a lot of you reading right now.) How have you handled it? On the flip side, what annoys the heck out of you about the smartest kids? What should they be doing differently?
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Executive coach Scott Eblin’s goal is to help you succeed at the next level of leadership. Throughout the week, he’ll offer his take on the leadership lessons in the news and his advice on your most pressing leadership questions. A former government executive, Scott is a graduate of Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government and is the author of The Next Level: What Insiders Know About Executive Success.
How do you handle a similar situation.
There are no Smartest Kids (but there seem to be 2 fair haired Pets). You are not a member of the "Club", any club. You rarely share in any credit for notable achievements. Read that again.
Along comes a initiative. The boss's boss basically tells what the answer is. You see it; you've done this before, this would be like falling off a log. You know the boss's boss has done this before - many times. You also meet tthe boss's boss in the hall, and have brief discussion of the "answer" and bewilderment that the rest are not getting on board. (Later you determine that they have never done anything like this before and therefor have no idea of what to do, or how to do it, in spite of the fact that they imply they all can walk on water.)
As you are not a memeber of the "Club", you will not have the opportunity to "ask" or "listen".
So what do you do? Besides finding another place to work.
Old Geezer Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 7:27 AMI was always the one who raised my hand first. Then I finally figured out that this intimidates others, so I backed off. While my husband if fairly intelligent, he is slower to come up with a solution or idea. So, instead of telling him how to do something or giving him the answer, I let him work it out. I have learned the fine art of suggestion. I plant the idea and let it bloom in his mind. Then, he thinks he thought of it himself and feels better about himself. By the way, this took years of practice. I use a similar method at work and find that information is retained better this way. Always providing the answer prevents others from building their analyzation skills.
Not So Dumb Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 7:32 AMI was surprised, but pleasantly so. Upon reflection I realize that by just winning US Presidential election he brought hope to the world that the US would stop being so arrogant, mean spirited and warlike. There was a lift of oppression worldwide, which is indeed what the Prize is all about. The resentment comes from a very minor, but vocal and hateful group of conservatives who want the US to lead the world wielding a club, even if it means more isolation and less interaction as normal citizens are more fearful about foreign travel. Yes, I believe the award was well deserved and I am grateful that the leadership of this country has turned from anger and hatred to hope. No need for us to stoop to the level of the rabble rousers.
Cindy Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 10:49 AMI too have learned the fine art of suggestion and let others (read this as the smartest kids in the class OR the biggest egomaniacs)plod through to discover an answer/solution. I salute you, you lovely overachievers, puff that chest out and chug down those awards. The rest of us will try not to get nauseous in your glorious wake. The goal: getting the task accomplished by the best process. Life is too short to be intimidated and have feelings of resentment in the work place. If there were true 'team work' or collaboration, we wouldn't need to be having this discussion about the brightest kids, now would we?! A around of less testosterone for everyone!!
No Quibler Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 11:23 AMI too have learned the fine art of suggestion and let others (read this as the smartest kids in the class OR the biggest egomaniacs)plod through to discover an answer/solution. I salute you, you lovely overachievers, puff that chest out and chug down those awards. The rest of us will try not to get nauseous in your glorious wake. The goal: getting the task accomplished by the best process. Life is too short to be intimidated and have feelings of resentment in the work place. If there were true 'team work' or collaboration, we wouldn't need to be having this discussion about the brightest kids, now would we?! A round of less testosterone for everyone!!
No Quibler Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 11:24 AMWell, I struggled with this very concept for the first few years of my government career. I have to say that the points above serve me well. Best advice I received was from a Priest of all people. Conversation went like this:
Me:"I think I'm smarter than everyone else."
Priest:"Maybe you are."
M:"Perhaps, not smarter, but I just think differently. Anyway it ticks people off."
P:"Ah, maybe you should try to slow down in offering solutions (off the gas), be quicker to listen and slower to speak (listen), and ask questions that open up the conversation to where you think it might go (frame solutions with questions)."
I took his advice, and focused on another concept mentioned above, "attention to the balance." This I think is the most important aspect of it all. And possibly the most difficult to master (I'm still working on it). Whenever possible, allow the ideas of others to prevail, even if it's not the most effecient, or quickest, or whatever. If the investment is minimal, allow the point to pass and encourage others to participate, offer ideas, and make decisions. Being quicker, or smarter, is no good if you leave the rest of your team behind - then you are left to do all of the work alone.
Let's be honest with one another, no matter how smart, we all have blind spots and filters. Including others enriches our efforts and products. There's no other way around it. As for the President, good for him. His election, approach to foreign affairs, and this award make me proud to be an American. We should be world leaders, not world alienators.
Matt Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 11:25 AMIt seems that the OPINION has been made that Obama is the smartest kid in the class. (Not sure where this comes from). In which case whatever I say will not go past the noise of the wind in your ears.
Lee Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 11:40 AMPlease remember that being the smartest kid in the class means that a class is still going on and that the smart kid is still learning and is still in class. (By the way I'm with the group that does not think the BO is the smartest kid in the class but it does appear that the rest of his class is rather "incomplete" when it comes to smarts).
By the way having been the smartest kid in the class I recall a sense of unease (not the disdain shown by this administration) when around the other students.
In about 4th grade, I started noticing that when the teacher asked a question, no one else raised their hand. Often, they would just look at me, expecting me to answer. I began keeping my hand down. Sometimes other kids would raise their hands. Sometimes the teacher, seeing no hands raised, would call on me or others. I figured if I knew the answer and others didn't, I should give them the opportunity to catch up. If I wasn't sure of the answer, I raised my hand to ask questions, since I was fairly certain others didn't get it either. To this day, I am still usually the first to ask questions when I don't understand something. I think people are often afraid to "look stupid" by admitting that they don't know everything. Even when (or perhaps especially when) I'm with a group of experts, I'm perfectly willing to put my ignorance on display in the hope of gaining some knowledge. I've learned a lot just by asking questions, and I think I've also helped others learn more, too.
Sohara Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 1:06 PMNobel Peace Prize to Mr. Obama? What a farce and a shameful and disrespectful slap in the face to a few of the past recipients who actually deserved recognition. The Nobel Peace Prize is now completely worthless in value of any kind. If Mr. Obama had any honor or integrity he would refuse to accept it. Instead, the narcissism continues, and "real" world leaders are laughing at the absurdity of it all.
Regarding your statement comparing Mr. Obama to the "smartest kid in the class," I disagree. He has displayed no evidence of high intelligence, especially in his documented performance as a state senator, U.S. Senator, and President. Just look at his dithering in response to the request from General McChrystal. In fact, the only demonstrated capability evident is his ability to surround himself with liberal extremist advisors, including felons, tax cheats, and terrorists, letting them, Senator Reid, and Ms. Pelosi set the agenda while he acts as the mouthpiece. However, he is a gifted speech reader and can "work" a crowd, but there is no substance behind the flash and show. Recommend you select someone more deserving, just like the five Norwegians should have done before they completely devalued their Nobel Peace Prize.
American Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 4:57 PMSeveral things that work for me
Pat Posted Thursday, October 15, 2009 9:08 AM1) Explain the whys and hows of getting the answer instead of just giving it. Granted sometimes they just want the quick answer and that's ok but if time permits, explain.
2) Share your references. Most of us don't have photographic memories but we know how to find an answer we don't know.
3) Remember that everyone's thought processes are a little different so have people take you through their process. Something that's "intuitively obvious" to you may seem like a huge leap in logic to others.
First, I do believe that President Obama is very intelligent. Second, I believe that awarding the Nobel prize is a liberal practice, as evidenced by some of the previous winners. I believe that those who have supported President Obama give him a messiah status. They choose to look at only the good and not the bad.
No amount of good that he does can outweigh the bad that he has done, primarily, but not solely, that he is responsible for the murders of thousands of innocent babies via funding abortions.
I disagree that he should have been awarded the Nobel; however, I am not upset by it because I do not give a lot of credence to the award. Since Yasser Arafat has won it in the "Peace" category, I would want nothing to do with it.
Mike Posted Thursday, October 15, 2009 9:23 AMWe need to take this lesson to the educators responsible for classrooms in our elementary and middle schools where there are sprinklings or concentrations of gifted children. Too many of our "smartest" are discouraged and wounded by the very real trials they endure for lack of understanding of the differences and distances they experience in social interactions - and of how to effectively manage these. Educators themselves don't often understand or effectively coach these very sensitive and vulnerable youth. Some are themselves confused, threatened and annoyed by the exceptionally bright in their classroom. Too many of our brightest never therefore ever reach executive levels. Our whole nation loses.
Education Observer Posted Thursday, October 15, 2009 10:18 AM"Smartest kid in the class". I must admit that this conversation would leave me be-fuddled, had I recently not lived through my own experience. I have been blessed to rise to the level of a senior executive in government under the mantra "always give it your best". I have received countless performance awards and recognition for my contribution over the years. Most recently, I observed a situation where leaders (and not just one) were removed from their leadership postions because they pursued that "additional effort" and sought to hold their peers to a "higher standard". I thought to myself, can this be real? can the workforce survive this type of leadership? And then I read your article...where you provide survival tips that essentially endors the behavior. I now remember when this was taught in Leadership 101. My how things come back around. One more observation--it seems that women and ethnic minorities are the ones who must "slow down"; those who are most taught that they must work hard to survive.
Wilma Posted Thursday, October 15, 2009 10:43 AMWould appreciate a column regarding how to respond if you work for someone who is not smart, but believes himself to be.
My manager has absolutely no experience working in government accounting, however, he is the CAO of a defense contractor. How did he land the job - he is best buddies with our CFO - who also has absolutely no experience!
If he has not heard of a certain solution - it could not work - as he knows everything (NOT!)
Extremely difficult to work for. Tried using the technique of asking questions to lead him to the answer - he responded that if I needed to ask questions I must be too stupid to work on the team.
Any advice?
Former Fed now in Private Sector Posted Thursday, October 15, 2009 12:19 PMFirst off since the applications for the Nobel Peace Prize had to be in by the beginning of February and Obama had only been in office for 2-3 weeks, how could he have possibly have filed an application? Under what basis?
He wasn't even a Senator for 2 years. For those almost 2 years everything he submitted before congress was not his idea and drafted by someone else.
So I ask the cool aid drinkers like Cindy what exactly did he do? I know you like him but what did he actually do? You say an oppression was lifted. Really? Who were we oppressing? If you feel we were oppressing someone then they still are apparently being oppressed because we haven't changed a thing. All the interrogation techniques and renditioning program, all the wire tap laws etc are still in place so your point is mute.
Rooster Posted Friday, October 16, 2009 12:32 PM