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Say what you will about him, but for every 10 minor-league gaffes, there's at least one instance in which Joe Biden manages to get a point across with pretty much unmatchable succinctness and clarity. Here he is making the case for increased federal transportation funding:

"This is how the interstate highway system started folks. It wasn't like the Lord on the eighth day said, boom, there's the interstate highway system."

Indeed it wasn't. Preach it, Joe!

The Onion once again blurs the line between fact and parody:

FDA Prepares Nation For Switch To Digital Food Format

WASHINGTON—Urging the estimated 60 million Americans who have not yet made the transition to the more advanced form of sustenance to do so as soon as possible, acting FDA commissioner Frank Torti announced Wednesday that the nationwide conversion to Digital Food (DF) will take place on Apr.17, 2009. "The only thing consumers who currently rely on analog foods will need is a digital converter box, which you can purchase at any grocery store," Torti said at a press conference, adding that every American household is eligible for a $40 coupon to digitize its current pantry. "DF offers higher texture quality and better taste, as well as multiple spice choices and interactive capabilities. I must stress, however, that after the deadline you will no longer be able to eat your current food." On the heels of the announcement, President Obama has begun pressuring the Senate to pass legislation that would require all food to be completely wireless by 2015.

Courtesy of GAO:

Iraq and Afghanistan: Availability of Forces, Equipment, and Infrastructure Should Be Considered in Developing U.S. Strategy and Plans

What can you say?

"You need to start reading that regularly."

-Craig Newmark, craigslist founder, on GovExec's sister publication, NextGov

Because it wouldn't be FedBlog without the occasional News of the Weird, the Washington Post reports that the White House has been invaded by raccoons:

The National Park Service is in pursuit of one very large raccoon and several medium-sized raccoons, who have been spotted roaming the grounds around the Executive Mansion and the West Wing, a spokesman said.

"The idea of raccoons on the White House grounds give us great pause," spokesman Bill Burton said.

(H/T: Dan Munz, who always has great stuff in his Twitter feed)

"Sometimes people in government never get thanked enough for all the hours they keep."

--President Bush, after a meeting with Treasury Department employees Friday.

By far, the most effective way for government to prevent ethical and legal abuses within its ranks is not to focus myopically on individual instances of wrongdoing as they occur, but to imbue one’s workforce with an affirmative, all-permeating sense of integrity -- to shine a light of excellence that dispels the shadows from which malfeasance sprouts.

--Interior Department Inspector General Earl Devaney and Chris Martinez, a member of his staff, in "Stopping the Buck," an essay in the Spring/Summer 2007 edition of the Journal of Public Inquiry.

(Hat tip: IEC Journal.)

"You know when you're a kid and you're growing up and you hear there'll be a cure for this and a cure for that, and who's in charge of that? You would think with the possibilities especially now we have, with all the technology, ... and the $100 billion that government and the private sector put into this stuff every year, you'd think that there'd be a Department of Cures, a Secretary of Cures. But there isn't."

Actor and Parkinson's research advocate Michael J. Fox in an appearance at a conference on philanthropy sponsored by Slate.

"I appreciate that the man who has managed Iraq so well is going to give us a lecture about management. The man who gave us Katrina is going to tell us how to manage?"

--House Democratic Caucus Chairman Rahm Emanuel (Ill.), on President Bush's criticism of Congress' lack of progress on key legislative measures.

President Bush, in his radio address Saturday:

Today I am signing emergency legislation to fund the federal government for the next seven weeks. This legislation was necessary because Congress failed in its most basic responsibility: to pass the spending bills that fund the day-to-day operations of the government. There are 12 of these bills this year, and Congress did not complete a single one of them, so Congress had to send me a stop-gap measure before the fiscal year ends this Sunday at midnight.